Kale Salad

Kale is one of those vegetables that is considered a "superfood". A superfood is generally a marketing term to make you buy something and make you think it is supergood for you. This usually is pretty true, it is really good for you but I just want to let you know that if you eat too many blueberries, you may be pooing more often than usual. But kale is one of those foods that is totally awesomely good for you to consume and won't necessarily make you find the nearest washroom. "One cup of kale contains 36 calories, 5 grams of fiber, and 15% of the daily requirement of calcium and vitamin B6 (pyridoxine), 40% of magnesium, 180% of vitamin A, 200% of vitamin C, and 1,020% of vitamin K. It is also a good source of minerals copper, potassium, iron, manganese, and phosphorus." (The Truth About Kale by Kathleen Zelman)

Luckily, kale grows crazy well up here in the Pacific Northwest! Unluckily though, most people don't eat much of it because it isn't really a food one craves...like french fries (which I ate today with my dilly bar, thankyouverymuch).

But you know me, I am here in this world to make people recycle and eat things they don't want to. So, for you, I actually have a great kale recipe. I swear, it is nutritious, delicious, and easy as fuck to make (sorry, the eff word was uncalled for but I haven't used it in while and frankly, that just felt good).

This recipe was created by my mother and originally included top ramen and cabbage. It was one of my favorite foods growing up (and the only food my mom really made). Alas, I grew fat in high school because I ate too much top ramen. Now, I stick to kale and this revamped recipe. You should too!

All Hail the Kale Salad
Created by Muah

INGREDIENTS
Salad:
2T sesame seeds
1/2c slivered almonds
4 green onions, chopped
2 packs of Thai Kitchen rice noodle snack-thingies (I like green onion and garlic vegetable)
About 15 leaves of kale

Dressing:
The 2 packs of seasoning/oil from your noodle snack-thingies
3T agave or sugar
1/3c oil
2T balsamic vinegar

METHOD
1. Crush the noodles in their package, put into a small sauce pan, and cover with water.

2. Boil the noodles for about 5 min until parboiled. Drain and rinse. Set aside.
3. Strip your kale of leaves and chop roughly.
4. Mix kale, seeds, nuts, onions, and noodles in a big bowl.
5. Mix the dressing together in a small jar and shake well.

6. Pour dressing over kale mixture and toss.

7. Eat right away or cold....it is supergood the 2nd day too! YUM!

Phone Messages - July/August

Ho-Kay, so I am going to start something new.

When I was young my mother, the creative type that she is, changed our answering machine voice message monthly. Mind you, this was back when answering machines were this boxy thing with a tape recorder that sat next to the phone in your parent's bedroom. We would huddle around the little black box and come up with great singsongs.

Our messages were always clever and I don't want to forget them. So, as the months wear on throughout the year, I will be radonmly recalling these phone messages.

I will have you know that these are not copyrighted but when you do decide to use them, please, after you sing your message add a disclaimer that says (in a totally straight movie-trailer voice), "created by Mam". That would be appreciated.

And, as a tip, if you are currently teaching your children how to answer the phone, this pharse is exteremly popular with the adult crowd when a precious 6 year old is picking up the phone, "This is Emily, who is this please?" How can you not tell the little one on the other line who the hell is calling?

Anywho, I disgress. Back to the message. I would like to start you off with our summer-time message.

Sung to "Happy Wanderers".

"We are out a wandering, along the mountain track.
And, if you leave a message, we are sure to call you back.
Valdaaaree *sung by Pah* (valdaaaree *sung by Sissy and Em*), Valdarawwww *sung by Pah* (valdarawwww *sung by Sissy and Em*), Valdaaaree *sung by dad* (valdaaaree *sung by Sissy and Em*), *everyone* Valdarah, ha, ha, ha, ha ,ha (with aburpt ending emaphsis)."

And there you have it. The best summer answering machine message ever!

Miss Bronco's Departure

My husband and I have a good relationship. We are the best of friends and get along for the most part.

But, my husband has had a mistress or two. I have talked about them before here (see number three after you click). I know their names, I have even had friendly relationships with them. They go by the names, Bronco, Gibson, and his new one, Tractor (the latter of which I have no relationship and don't plan on developing one).

And he goes into the shop for hours to hang out with these pieces of work. For hours, I say.

Recently, however; the Bronco has left. She was just chillin' in the shop for many years with mice, bees' nests, and that infamous Big Gulp that Mr Pepperworth got in 2000 and never took out. Needless to say, it was time for her to go. She needs a better mister that can take care of her. Clean 'er up. Make 'er shine.

That's why Mr Pepperworth sold her to...his brother...who is getting married in August. But, I think his new bride will be more accepting of Bronco and the time her hubby spends in the garage.

Don't get me wrong, the Bronco was my favorite too! She was fun to ride in and she is beautiful! But, it is unpractical for us to have because we don't put the money into her and well, she gets 9 miles to the gallon. Not to mention, she could kill a person with her lap belts and metal frame.

While I am sad to see her go, I am mostly sad for Mr Pepperworth who is parting with his baby of 12 years. She saw him through many phases of his life; hippy to career man to husband to farmer.

At least she is staying in the family though and Mr Pepperworth will get to visit her from time to time.

Goodbye Miss Bronco. Goodbye.

2000

2000. Let's be honest, Young T has definitely chose a better ride nowadays.

2000. (Freak Flag Fly)

2001

2002. Bronco and her BFF, the Able Seaman I.

The repairs of 2002 (and that effing nasty-ass Gap hat).

2004. Bronco and her BFF2, the Able Seaman II.

2006

Moving 'er in 2010.

The "driver" of the 2010 move.

Mr Peps last day with Bronco.

Young T and his soon-to-be Bride.

I'm Baaaaack

Hello all.

I remembered this morning that I said I would be back by today. But, I wasn't really ready for it. I didn't think of anything good to tell you about and I definitely didn't finish any of the posts I started.

I can tell you that while I was away I worked hard and did some fun things. Just this past weekend Mr Peps and I went to happy hour at a local restaurant (that ended up costing $30...what the hell happy hour) and then we went to the driving range to hit some balls. THEN, we went to get frozen yogurt at the new fro yo place. It was a great date and Mr Peps didn't complain! It was amazing.

I rode the scooter to work last week too! I plan on doing it again today.

I met my first human nephew (Gus is my first nephew) who is a precious little baby boy. He even seemed to enjoy his Auntie Em holding him (although the picture does seem to prove otherwise).

And...Mr Pepperworth sold his Bronco. But, I'll tell you more about that later.

I skyped for the first time. Sissy and I were trying to get Gus and Buk to skype. We know they miss each other a whole crap ton so we thought they may want to talk. Turns out, they didn't really want to skype that much. Gus was actually really freaked out because he thought he was going to get his nails cut. Poor poor Gusaroo.

And, as you can probably guess, I still haven't run enough nor have I weeded that much. Clearly, I am still putting some things off, but who wouldn't?! Itsa summa time!

My Leave

I am sorry everyone but I have to do this to you again.

I have too many other things I need to focus on now and not being able to complete a blog post stresses me out a little. I have a couple things just waiting for pictures but I am not going to get to those soon so you are just going to have to wait.

I, hopefully, will be back by June 25! Who knows, maybe I will surprise you with something earlier but don't worry about checking before June 18, that definitely won't happen.

Happy June Farmer's Wife friends.

That's it and that's all.

Fermenting Sauerkraut

I have been super into fermenting things lately. Several months ago I took a class on fermenting foods at the local co-op. It was very interesting and discussed the health benefits to eating fermented foods plus we got to taste multiple foods the instructor had made. We ate fermented salsa, pickles, sauerkraut, pineapple chutney, ketchup, and winter veggies. It was so delicious. I apparently love fermented veggies about as much as I love popcorn and chips.

Anywho, fermented foods are traditional foods in many countries. Researchers have shown that in 3rd world countries, where fermented foods are regularly eaten, people have better dental health and healthier immune systems than people who eat a western/sugary diet. Here is a semi-boring video about it if you want to watch (and this lady smiles at odd times but it does show how to make whey which you will want for the recipe below).

You may remember that last year I made my first batch of fermented veggies and it was delicious. I kinda just made the recipe up at the time. Since then, I have tried make more fermented foods but I was nervous because I didn't really have a recipe that gave me specific instructions and when you are making raw food turn into something else using bacteria, it is slightly unnerving to eat it if you don't really know what you are doing. So, after I took this class, I had a nice list of recipes and I have been making sure I always have some fermented foods on hand. We have been eating them with most of our meals and I have to say that this winter I didn't get sick once...that is pretty good for me!

Currently, I have fermented beats, sauerkraut, carrots, and kimchee all waiting to be eaten.

If you would like to ferment something, you can pretty much do it with anything as long as you have some whey (or raw apple cider if you are making a brine), some veggies, and a quart size mason jar. But, if you would like to make some sauerkraut then you are in luck because here is the recipe (I'll do pickles later in the season):

Real Sauerkraut

makes 1 quart

adapted from Nourishing Traditions Cookbook ← effing good!

INGREDIENTS

1 medium head cabbage (cored and shredded, a grater works well) *save an outside whole leaf

1T dill seeds

1T salt

4T whey

METHOD

1. In a good sized bowl, mix together cabbage, dill, salt, and whey.

2. Now it is time to squeeze the livin' day lights out of it all. You can use your hands or you can find a wooden pounder to get all the juices out of the cabbage. It will take about 7-10 minutes. You should have about 1/2cup of juice at the bottom of the bowl.

3. Place everything in a quart sized mason jar and press down until juices come to the top of the cabbage. (If you need to add a little water, that is fine.)

4.  Take that extra leaf you saved and fold it into the top of jar to press down the kraut and hopefully keep it covered.

5. Cover tightly and keep at room temperature for 3-5 days before putting it in the fridge where it can hold for months. It will improve with age.

Eat with just about anything or by itself!

Rosemary Rhubarb Jam

When we moved into our house, we acquired a nice rhubarb patch. It is so great, every year it grows back and it doesn't need anything. It doesn't need fertilizer, it doesn't need water, and most importantly, it doesn't need weeding. It's perfect.

But...there is only so much you can do with rhubarb. You can't eat it raw but you can turn it into something delicious with a buncha sugar. You can't really go wrong with anything and sugar, I suppose, but rhubarb does have a very earthy taste that is pretty darn good.

For my first harvesting of the rhubarb patch, I wanted to make some jam because I have been eating jam everyday with my oatmeal. I didn't want to make rhubarb strawberry jam though because strawberries aren't in season. I found a recipe that incorporated rosemary with the rhubarb and since I have a rosemary bush, I decided to go for it. When making it, it smells very rosemary-lemonady which is all right but I wondered if I would really want to eat lemonade. Alas, the final result turned out great and I am eating it pretty much every morning. (I have had an oatmeal problem since the beginning of the year. Thanks to Sissy really.)

Rosemary Rhubarb Jam
adapted from Food in Jars
INGREDIENTS
- 4 cups chopped rhubarb
- 2 to 2 1/2 cups sugar (to taste)
- 1 cup water
- 1 frond of rosemary finely chopped
- 2 lemons juice
- zest of 1/2 lemon
- 2t pectin (I used pomona's pectin and followed the instructions on the box)

METHOD 
1. Put the rhubarb, sugar, 3/4c water, rosemary, and lemon in a medium sized saucepan. Let boil for about 5-7 minutes or until the rhubarb breaks down.
2. Add the 2t calcium water if using Pomona's pectin.
3. In a bowl, stir the pectin powder in 1/4c water until it is dissolved. Dump it in the rhubarb mixture and stir constantly for 2 minutes.
4. Take off the heat and stir in the lemon zest.
5. Transfer jam to jars. It will still be quite runny because the pectin won't set until it is cool.
6. Put jars in boiling water bath for 10 minutes.

Makes about 3 half pints.