Miss Me?

Yes, I know, all 9 of you missed me horribly. You weren't getting your bi-weekly dose of hippy, humor, and sassy pants. No worries, your pants are back.

In my younger days.

As I have previously mentioned, I got a new job and it keeps me busy and I have this new thing where I get home and watch a dvd. Plus, I am sickly. And I watch too much of this dvd business.

Anywho, remember when I talked about my crock? (yes, that says crock.) Well, I finally made it 4 weeks and dove into my fermented veggietables. Boy, they are good. Or as good as fermented veggietables can be.

No, really, they are decent. And, they are good for you. They have lots of that -bacillus, -schmallicus culture shit.

If you are interested in making your own fermented veggies, it is very simple and you can pretty much ferment any vegetable you can think of: carrots, turnips, beans, cabbage, garlic, ice cream. I recommend looking at this website if you don't have a fancy crock to make your fancy concoction.

Here is what I did though:

INGREDIENTS
1 jalapeno chopped
1 large onion chopped
1 medium cabbage sliced thinly
8 carrots peeled and shredded
8 cloves of garlic peeled and chopped
1/2 apple peeled and finely chopped
2T agave
1-2T salt

METHOD
1.  Prepare all your veggies. I did it in 4 batches. I cut everything and put it all in an 8x8 pan (see pic in previous crock post) and squish all the veggies together, with some salt and a little agave, trying to get out some liquid.
2. Put each batch in the crock or jar.
3. Cover and let ferment in pantry for 4 weeks. Mine could have gone longer too, it would have made the ingredients not as crunchy.

Happy Fermenting!! I suggest watching a video online to get a better idea of what you are doing. But, you really should try, it is SO easy and if you ever buy these in the store, it costs $10+ for a pint. A pint people!

Mam Pants

Where do I even start with Mother? Do I start with all the material she has given me (like literally, she knew this post was coming and she emailed me ideas)? Do I explain how we are very alike in certain ways? Do I say how good she looks for being some age between 50 and 60 but closer to 60? Hmmmmm......

Oh hell, I'll start with my younger/more embarrassing days. Growing up, I always had a miss-my-mom problem. I couldn't spend the night at peoples' houses until 4th grade or something ridiculous because I thought something bad would happen to Mother while I was gone. I tried sleeping at my Anut's house more than once and I threw up every.single.time. I would almost make it to bed and then I would make myself sick with worry. It definitely was NOT on purpose. Even if my Sissy was there I couldn't bare the thought of being without Mother. It was awful! Mostly it was awful though because it always veal parmesan tv dinner that Anut let me eat.

So obviously, I love my Mom. We understand each other. My Ma has funny things going on in her brain like me. We each have a hard time with "left" and "right" and we each have husbands that aren't very forgiving about that. (I already talked nicely about them so know I can say that.) We understand each other though and it is nice to know someone gets what you are trying to say even if you can't get the words out. We will be driving in Seattle, and I'll be all, "go that way toward the water" and I'll point. She knows just to look and go that way. We have good sense of direction, seriously, we just have a hard time communicating it.

Best pic of Mother I have ever seen.

With that scary thought of brain farts, I would like to announce Mother was my primary 5th grade teacher. *Fun fact: Sissy and I were homeschooled for one year when we were little but then we realized we weren't a) religious b) dorks.* Ma worked at a high school and Sissy and I would get to go there and learn math off laser discs. You know, those things that are 46 times the size of a dvd. Other than that and reading a ridiculously huge orange book, I don't really remember doing much work but I do remember going places. Which, if you ask Mother, is the important part. But..that only lasted a year, everyone was ready to not have to spend 24-7 together.

Some other things that make me love Mother and miss her are:

8)  She was lead majorette in high school and has the salute hands to prove it.

7)  The fact that she will take care of me when I am sick. She will tell me how precious I am and get me any popsicles I need. Now, she won't drive to the store to get them, she will just use what is on hand. Another good trait...resourceful.

6)  Mother likes to tell stories. It is prefect when you don't like to talk much.

5)  Ma knows that I am NOT a morning person. She will not ask questions when she knows it might just turn ugly. That is one of life's biggest lessons when living with me.

4)  Mother loves her boat and taught me how to waterski. One ski. 'Nuff said.

Not the right kind of skiing but still, she taught me this kind too.

3)  Mother talks to my dead grandmother. I think Grammie has come back as a crow. But as a crow, Grammie is very helpful and when you find that front row parking spot, a blouse in your size and color at Value Village, or that infection finally went away, Mother is sitting there thanking Grammie. Grammie has Ma's back. I know my Ma will have mine too in the far, far future.

Ma, "showing" Grammie Hawaii. Yes, that is a plastic baggie with ashes.

2)  Chore List. I would like to say that I did hella chores whilst young. I vacuumed, emptied dishwashers, cleaned the counters, cleaned the stove, cleaned the bathroom, scrubbed showers, washed the car, dusted, and pretty much had the lick the toilets clean because of the chore list Mother left. Every.Day. She almost got away with me not mentioning it but I cried about it enough that it is going on the blog. The reason it made the "nice" list though is because it actually did teach me how to clean. In the end, I am glad I know how to clean but lord have mercy on me!

Don't mind the blond streaks.

1)  My Mom comes and deep cleans my house about once or twice a year. I get too bogged down trying to lick the toilets clean to get to the fridge.

My mom just plain gets me. I am the first born who didn't get the brains or the height and Mother finds pity in that and just loves me. I am thankful for the Momma I have and I wouldn't ask for another one, even one that didn't force me to do housework like f-ing Cinderella.

p.s. Mother has previously been mentioned as Mrs. Pedemonte because she had a cobbler, or some shoemaker, that was named Pedemonte. She always liked it. But it doesn't fit so it is back to Mom, Mam, and Mommy.


Next Family Member: Sissy
Previous Family Members: Dad, Mr Pepperworth

Brothers Alike

With Sam gone, we have been holding the other children to higher standards. They must be good and responsible boys. They must come when called, accept love at any point and have sweet dispositions.

Luckily Simon is trying extra hard....

Simon this week has start sleeping on Buk's bed instead of pissing on it. p.s. he did look sweeter when he was sleeping.

Sam loved to sleep on Buk's bed and we usually found him sleeping with Buk in the morning.

It makes my heart melt.

p.s. Yes, we get Buk's beds at Goodwill. We choose the best comforter for King Buk.

Speaking of Buk, he isn't doing as well with the adjustment period.

Daddy Dearest Love of My Life

Here is what I grew up saying, "Daddy Dearest, love of my life, etc, etc, a'hun'red n'finity kisses." Whenever my sister and I wanted something. Want dinner? Say it. Want a ride? Repeat. Want money? I can't hear you.

No, really though, we didn't mind and we do love our father the mostest.

Unless he makes us pick up rocks.

You know, picking up rocks is something I will always remember from my childhood. Father Michael Francis bought a piece of property next to our house when I was young that was full of dirt and broom scotch (it is really scotch broom, I know, but I wrote that first thinking it was correct so it stays). After clearing the land, my sister and I were forced to pick up rocks in order to plant grass. We picked rocks 24-7 like the roman slaves built pyramids or whatevs, or at least that is how I remember it. That summer my dad went to K-Mart for front shield windwipers or something of that nature and I saw a pink flashlight I really wanted. Instead of purchasing his sweet daughter that light, he made me pick rocks for it. Something like 50 buckets worth. Daddy Dearest didn't win him over when there was hard labor to be done.

But ya know, that manual labor really did train me for being a strong lady. Not many girls can say they chopped wood, picked rocks, fed ducks, changed oil, shot bows and guns, lived in a tee-pee, and drove a bulldozer all while living in suburbia. If I didn't know how to get dirty I wouldn't be as good at my job or know how to weed correctly in my garden. And, I know that is what Pa was going for. Strong girls. Hell, I probably did 1,436 real push-ups and 469 clapping push-ups as punishment when I was young.

Yep, ducks

Father Michael Francis taught me all about sports too. (wow, I really wouldn't have been as good at my job if my dad didn't force me to do things I didn't always want to do.) Dad coached basketball and fastpitch when I was younger. He was a good coach. I think. I don't really remember actually. But, I am sure he was because I remember liking sports but I don't remember if we won or lost. I mostly remember playing the clarinet during half time while my sister rode her unicycle or jumproped to our 6th grade version of "On Wisconsin". On the clarinet and flute. That is 100% true.

My loving Father would do anything for his sweet daughters and I am glad I have the Pa I have.

Yes, that non-cabbage patch is my sister

More things I like about my Father include:
8) Father Dear gave me the knowledge and desire to predict weather. I used to just ask Pa what the weather would look like but since I don't have him at my disposal all the time anymore, I had to learn to fend for myself.

7) Dad is consistent. He forced me to run in Pt Defiance Park with him on weekends. It probably only happened like 4 times but it felt like pure torture. Although, I did get egg mcmuffins afterward.

6) Dad taught me the importance of "a deal". I ate 99¢ Whoopers all.the.time. 39¢ Mickey D Hamburger Sundays? Oh baby, yes! But I couldn't have cheese on it because that cost 15¢ more. I became a pro-grocery shopper by holding all the coupons and telling Father when I saw that super-deal cake mix. I wasn't to worry if we already have 5 at home either. A deal is a deal!

5) He always has chips stashed away. (see number 6) But, he won't let you open them unless you ask. Plus, you have to make sure it is the next in line with the expiration dates.

4) Pa likes old country music and likes to sing. "The Happy Wanderer" is a family song.

God I love this picture. Such happy wanders consulting a compass

3) Father let us get cable in 1999. That day was when the whole world opened up to me.

2) He likes to torture his children sometimes just to make sure they are on their toes and ready to try new things. Like the museum. The exhibits could be 17 years old but you are forced to go every year and see the same ole shit about the pioneers, natives, and trains.

This is mostly just to show Sis she wore that hat in public

1) He doesn't like to talk on the phone. I hate the phone so I don't have to feel bad when I don't call Father regularly. He knows I love him and I know the same. If there is something important, I call. If there isn't, I don't. Same as he. Except that he always wants me to call "when I get home". But, it doesn't matter anyway because I call and he is always in bed asleep. Real worried, real worried.

So Father Michael Francis has some quirks and is a bit of a goofball but if he wasn't that way, I wouldn't be the same person I am today. People seem to like me so I am thankful for everything Pa has showed me/given to me throughout my life. I love him lotsa much.

Next Family Member: Mrs. Pedemonte
Previous Family Member: Mr Pepperworth

Gettin' My Groove Back

As you may or may not remember, I was feeling pretty down in the dumps late 2010. Things just weren't going my way.

My professional work started to get a little disappointing and things were happening that just made work not much fun anymore. I trudged on though, like a good little worker, and just did my own thing and got ish done.

However, I would like to announce that I am excited again because I got a new job within the same organization that is a step up from what I have been doing. Professionally, it will challenge me more and I love that.

I'm excited to do something different.  I know it will be tiring at times and it will keep me super duper busy but I am certainly ready. Plus, it will put me in Ferndale, oh yea. I can ride my bike to work more often!

Oh, and my new boss reads my blog....and she still hired me. Good thing this is really the only time I will ever be mixing blog with work.

This is a good example of how excited I feel. And yes, that's Buk.

"Sneezus Christ," says He

Things have been slow on the farm. I don't know if it is suppose to be slow but no one has told me to do anything. Actually, not true, I did weed 3/4 of the front flower bed. But, then I got tired/bored.

Mr Pepperworth has been busy though. Spending money. Buying seeds, greenhouse plastic, door knobs, and child locks.  He is doing some garden planning and home improvement projects. By the way, the child locks are for the damn cats that learned how to get in the garbage and feed the dog leftover lunch meat. Twice. Sick.

Anywho, because things have been ho-hum, I would like to take this opportunity to talk about some of the things I love most, my family members. We all know I love my babies pretty much almost the most but then they get in the garbage together and that drops them a couple notches on the love-scale.

I will be starting the family exposè with my handsome husband. I know I have talked about him briefly hither and thither but I would like to focus a full post to his honor.

Good Ole Trustworthy Mr Pepperworth
Mr Pepperworth is the butter to my bread, the pepper to my salt, and the super to my sonics. I love the guy super a lot.

Let me give you a little background story about how I met Mr Pepperworth....

It was 9th grade. I had just moved to a new city and was uber nervous about going to a new school. I didn't know anyone and was nervous about who I would sit with at lunch. Sitting alone at lunch would totally have ruined me socially. I am getting a little ahead of myself though. Back to class before lunch. Specifically, band class. (I know, talk about ruining me socially.) During class, Mr. Red-faced Passive Conductor introduced me and impressed/annoyed everyone by saying I was second chair clarinet at my old school. Mr. Conductor sat me in the front row and I probably pooped my pants because I totally was not ever second chair (more like I spat on second chair's head from the next row back). Mr Pepperworth says he remembers this story vividly and how he may have been impressed by my clarinet abilities. What this mostly means though is that he remembers the first day he ever set eyes on his wife. How f-ing romantic, huh?!

Band Class. Can you find me and the boy?

Anywho, a couple of days into band, I am sitting near Mr Pepperworth (who also happens to play the clarinet and is actually second chair) and I say, "you are Mr Pepperworth, right? I think your (younger) brother is dating my (younger) sister." Mr Pepperworth responds with a heart fluttering, "um, yea." Actually, I don't think it made my heart melt. I think I had a crush on a Mr. T. Anderson.

But later that school year, after realizing that Mr Pepperworth had all the babes seeking his attention, I decided I would take a swing at him. All it took was some band jokes, tripping, an "accidental" brushing of the arm, etc to win Mr Pepperworth over. I totally won. I beat Kendra, Brianna, Kim, Kim, Rachel, and probably some others. (For those of you I am still friends with and you actually read this secretly, I apologize, except to Kendra...for obvious reasons.)

Then, I broke up with him in the first week of 10th grade. Whoops.

After about three years of realizing that I really did love the guy and writing "Mrs Pepperworth" on notes, I won the sucker over, again. Boo-f-ing-yah! But seriously, Mr Pepperworth is super funny and slightly nerdy. Both of which I find oh so charming.  Luckily he finds those traits charming in me as well.

More things I love about the guy are:

8) Mr Pepperworth's curly hair. But cut short, definitely cut short. Oh lordy.

You'd think this was 1973. Try 2003.

7) Mr Pepperworth's musical abilities. He did used to sing me songs on his guitar but now he just turns the music up to the 11th volume at ten o'clock at night which I don't like as much but you learn to live with it sometimes.

6) Mr Pepperworth plants me dem veg.a.tbles. You can't find that in many ole joes.

5) Mr Pepperworth keeps me happy with his accents and funny terms like "Sneezus Christ" when the dog sneezes.

4) Mr Pepperworth finishes the chore list when I leave it. But only when I leave it.

3) Mr Pepperworth loves his Bronco and tractor and sometimes I feel left out but he always sleeps in my bed. The night he sleeps in the Bronco, there will be problems.

Again, during his freak-flag-fly phase

2) Mr Pepperworth has really nice calves and likes to keep in tip top trim shape, always nice in a man.

1) But most importantly, Mr Pepperworth eats what I make. Sometimes he doesn't want to eat string beans but he doesn't complain much and doesn't mind being a vegan for 85% of his life. That's a true man.

Boy, I love my farmer with all my farmer wife heart.

Next Family Member: Father Michael Francis