Monday, June 28, 2010

The F Word

I am sure you noticed that I type f-ing this and f-ing that on my blog. I don't actually use the word fuck. I don't know if it is because my mother reads it and although she swears (though not when we were young, she would like you to know that, I know she would type it in the comments if I don't say it now) she would be somewhat disappointed in my constant use of the word or that I know other adults (because I obviously am not an adult) read my blog and I don't want everyone to think I have a dirty, dirty mouth.

However, I am here to tell you I am sorry. I do swear. I do swear alot. It's mostly when: a) I am stressed/mad and something goes wrong or b) I think it fits great in a sentence. It's a casual thing. I don't even really think about it. I am like The Dude sometimes. (honestly I think that movie and playing ultimate frisbee in college made me a lifelong potty mouth)

I don't swear at people. I just swear about them later to someone else.

You might wonder how I can work with kids (which I do) and not teach them bad words. Well, honestly, I try, I try really hard and usually I don't swear but sometimes I do. Let's see, in the last 3 years, I'd say 2 kids heard me swear. Whoops. I address it though and tell them not to be like me, I am a bad person.

Okay, anyway, back to my original story....
for the sake of my blog, I only use the actual word Fuck when I am pissed. so. get. ready.

This time I am mad.

My fucking dahlias for the wedding were all wiped out. I take that back. One survived. Out of the 15 I planted, one little one survived and is fighting off slugs when I forget to go put sluggo down. I don't even know if it is worth it honestly.
I was planning on providing my own flowers for the wedding because I grow dahlias every year and I love them so I (mom) spent a fucking shit ton of money on them and the rain wiped them out. They pretty much drowned in the 100 thousand inches of rain we had in the last month.

Do you know what this means? Seriously, do you know?
Well honey, let me tell you; it means I have to spend more money because Mother Nature, whom I love, fucked me over. *sigh* It means I will have to do one more thing and not procrastinate. I will try hard to make my centerpieces beautiful but if you come to my wedding and see dandelions as decorations don't fucking mention it.

I am not even thinking about the garden isn't growing our wedding food yet.



Cherl said...

Maybe mother nature was pissed at Tyler's double shower...

Gevan said...

All I can say is.... isn't there some kind of vulgarity censor (oops, first I typed "sensor" .. but that would work too. Maybe it's a sensor-censor...I just invented that.) on fb?
Well Em, all I can say is my that my second motto at Woodland Creek Farm - "Mother Nature is a bitch.."

The Momma said...

Mother Nature is not going to like you any better for swearing at her (and I've been doing my share too). So now that you've got that out of your system, let's both move on.

We'll work it out - it will be ok.
Your dandelion idea might be a good one; you can decorate with them AND serve them for dinner. It can be a your theme representing how your love for each other grows like a weed. (I know you just read that and rolled your eyes and said the f word yet again).