Sunday, January 30, 2011

Just Pleasantly Plump

I have a chubby child. I actually have had a chubby child before but made that one slim down because he was getting large. A strict food and exercise (chasing around) regimen was called for.

This time, my baby is chubbier than the first. And, it is all my fault. Well, maybe not all my fault, I feed the thing and then he goes and pushes his brothers out of the way to get more food. The only time he doesn't think he is hungry is when he has already ate 2 servings of food and is happily playing with twisty-ties.

Simon is only about 8 months old and definitely weighs more than Sam, but Stanley still has some good pounds on him. I am sure it is due to the fact that he isn't outside running all that baby chunk away but still his small head and chubby body are the laughing stock of the house. He sits on poor Sam and holds him down. That, we don't laugh about.

I just hope that when he is old enough and it is warm enough for Simy to go outside, he isn't the laughing stock of the neighborhood. I don't want him to come home with his tail tucked between his legs crying because McLovin called him a Tub'o'Lard. And, I swear, if that Mr Meow lays a single paw on Simon or hurts him with words (ear splitting cries because my strong boys trapped him under the porch yet again. Don't cross the Pepperworths), Mr Neighbor is going to have a thing or two coming from this cat loving crazy mama.

At least Simon is smart so he has that going for him. His personality is definitely different from his brothers. He acts like the young annoying, yet funnier, brother. Hopefully Princess and Tabitha will find that charming. Oh who am I kidding? 1) No child of mine will like a Princess 2) Simon is a fatty, no Princess will find him charming. He will just be the "funny" guy and do impressions of dying birds, barking dogs and the like. His mommy loves him with all her heart though, so that's all that counts.

 The Progression of Tub'o'Lard
if my future human babies plan on getting chunky (which they will), I will post their progression pictures too. hopefully it will teach them a lesson
This is the first day we had him. Perhaps it all started here.

3 months old
6 months old. The stomach roll is beginning.
8 months old.
Also 8 months old. It's like he went from healthy chubs to fatty.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

*This Just In...Again*

Potato chips out. Damnit!

Might be allergic. Face is looking a little rashy and had a stomach ache.
Good reason to stop eating potato chips, fries, mashed potatoes. I think I am going to cry.

Beans are out too, for now at least.

Monday, January 24, 2011

New Name

I already got (notice I wrote got, "not had to change". Progress? yes.) my new name, after marriage. Now it is time for my hunny buns to get a new name...for this blog.

From this day forth, T will now be known as Mr. Pepperworth. Yes, I will spell it out every time.

At work, I get the pleasure of entering thousands of children into a database. One kid had the last name of Pepperworth. I love it! I totally wish I would have seen that name before I went to the Social Security Office and got my new card. If I had, my name would be Emily Saltn Pepperworth. Maybe Peppaworth.

Rolls off the tongue so nicely. And it is a food reference, what could be better? Peppermashpotatoes? Possibly.

Anywho, because I want this name, it is now T's new name in hopes that he will like it and change his name. Chances? Good.

Introducing Mr. Pepperworth

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Cabbage Rolls

Time for a recipe. But, since I am only eating go-straight-through-you food, I really had to think about this one. What is something I am currently eating that people might actually like?

BTW, is anyone annoyed that I keep talking about my elimination diet? Because, if so, you must realize I LOVE food. I love making food. I love eating food. So, since I can't eat my amazing food, it is on my mind all.the.time and I like to speak my mind (if you didn't notice). In other words, if it annoys you, time to get over it. There, I said it.


Anywho, I made cabbage rolls for the first time and they were seriously flippin' delicious! You really should try them. You can pretty much put anything you want inside them but I am going to give you my version and if you happen to be on Phase One of the Whole Food Elimination Diet, you have scored. You scored big. You don't have to eat kale again tonight. Holla at yo' girl.

Stuffed Cabbage Rolls
serves two
adapted from Smitten Kitchen

Since I was not able to eat tomatoes at the time I put this dish together, I used a squash sauce. However, instead of doing my squash sauce step, you could just save yourself some time and use tomato sauce instead. The squash is delicious though (always is).


- 2 1/2c peeled, diced squash
- 1/2 onion chopped
- 2 cloves garlic chopped
- 2c veggie broth
- 2T Olive Oil
- salt and pepper

Cabbage Rolls
- 1/2 head cabbage
- 1/2 onion chopped
- 3 garlic cloves minced
- 2T olive oil
- 1 carrot shredded
- 1/2c zucchini chopped
- 1/2c rice cooked, this is a pre-recipe step*

1. Cut the core out the bottom/middle part of the cabbage but leave it whole. The core is hard to roll, so you don't want it in there.
2. Place cabbage, with the empty core area facing up, in a large bowl.
3. Boil water and pour the water over the cabbage until it reaches the top and let it sit for ten minutes.
4. Heat the oil in a saute pan.
5. Add onions and garlic for the sauce. Cook for 4 min.
6. Add squash and salt and pepper (to taste). Saute for 5 min.
7. Add veggie broth and cover. Cook for 10 min.
8. Add sauce mixture to food processor and let sit until slightly cook.
9. While the sauce is cooling, cook the other onions until they are soft.
10. Add garlic, carrots, and zucchini and cook for 4 min.
11. Add rice and saute for another 5 min. Add salt and pepper to taste.
12. Transfer it to a bowl and let it cool a bit.
13. Drain the head of cabbage by turning upside down.
14. Pull off large leaves, cut out the large vein. If the leaf is very large, you can make two rolls from each.
15. Roll about a spoonful or two of filling in each leaf (depending on the size of your leaf)
16. Arrange in a large, wide pot.
17. Process your squash mixture until smooth. If the sauce is thick, add more broth. You want it to be the same consistency as heavy cream.
18. When sauce is right, pour it over the rolls, enough to almost reach to top of cabbage. (You can add more broth or water to the pot if needed.
19. Bring to a boil and reduce the heat, letting them simmer covered on the stove on low for about 30-45 min.
20. Serve immediately. If sauce you have extra sauce, pour over individual portions. Mmmmmm.

Friday, January 21, 2011

*This Just In*

I can eat potato chips now!

I am sure the founders of the Whole Food Elimination Diet didn't have potato chips in mind as phasing in "nightshade vegetables" but according the kettle sea salt chips ingredients I am good to go. Potatoes, sunflower oil, and salt. Booyah.

Although I have lost about 8 lbs, I am certain to gain it back by the end of today. (not really, I can only eat about 10 anyway, I just like to think that I could eat more)

I Love You Kettle Chip

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Calling Bullshit

I'm gonna go ahead and call bullshit on something.

Actually, why don't we just go ahead and make a list and make that somethings:

5. Navy blue dresses exist. I can't find a single one that doesn't look like a) a hooker dress or b) a mu-mu and I need one for my sister's wedding.

4. Being a pregnant is worth it. I'll believe it when it happens but for now I would like to point out that I like coming home, making dinner, and watching adult situation TV shows. I also like not feeling fat.

3. 13 yr old girls at the gym with their fathers. Yes, I am gonna go ahead and say that is BS. Maybe the girls want to be at the gym doing what their father says, maybe they will be Olympians but chances are, they won't be and they will only begin to think their father is mean. Then they will rebel. They will eat twinkies and drink Dr Pepper all day long at school. I promise, they don't actually like going to the gym. Teenagers don't like exercising, I would know. The only time I went on runs with my father was when I got an egg mcmuffin afterward. Fathers, don't worry about your daughter and her playing college basketball. If she wants to, she will. And, don't take her to the gym to do crunches on the exercise ball when she can't even balance on the damn thing.

2. Anyways is a word. It isn't. I would know, I used to use it and then I lost a $3 bet to my mom when she made me look it up in the dictionary. (She also taught me gambling was okay.)

1. Drinking water makes you full. They (I am guessing dumb doctors) say drinking more water makes you full which in turn will make you not eat as much. Yeah fucking right. I still want cookies, chips, and seconds after I drink 64 oz of water.

Happy National BS Day! (not really, that is total bullshit)

Monday, January 17, 2011


I have a real two day weekend this week because of this holiday. This Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

I have been watching a lot of Mad Men lately (a totally rad show, by the way, which makes me wish I had 60's dresses and wore them regularly). They are getting to the era in the show where integration is an issue.

It made me think.

We learned about integration in school and Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr but my parents lived through all that. Granted, they were just entering the double digits or teen years but it is really interesting to me that just a generation ahead of me, people were experienceing HUGE change in the US.

I don't know though, maybe I am in the midst of experiencing change in America with the "integration" of the gay community and allowing them the same rights as others.

MLK was a true leader and I am glad he is recognized nationally. I am envious of his voice and grassroot organization abilities. We are still fighting for equal freedoms today and probably always will be. I hope that today people take a second to think about Martin Luther King and recognize that he stood for equality, peace, and love. We could definitely use all those thing in the world today.

And don't you think this quote from MLK Jr is interesting? "A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom." Damn, that guy was great!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Just so you know

This is what I ate for dinner tonight.

Spinach, lentil, rice casserole. Peas. Roasted brussel sprouts.

It actually was all right, even if it looks like diarrhea with carrots. The peas were especially good! I cooked them for 15 minutes with onions. Delicious.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Dieting and Dreaming

Okay so, I dream. Don't you love it when people tell you their dreams? You are like, cool. That is crazy. Whoa, what do you think that means? ....and all that shit.

So.........listen to my dream:

As we somewhat know, my most memorable dreams include teenybopper boys. JTT, Joey McIntyre, Nick Carter, Justin Timberlake and any other boyband member that shared a group with the aforementioned hunks. (no need to google all those guys. they are boyband members sometimes with brown hair, sometimes with bleach blond) My dreams are/were innocent. I begin as a friend and then make them fall in love with me. Sometimes they sing me a song. We sit on couches and talk. I may have even done a choreographed dance with JT, I can't really remember 100%. Anyway, it is always so fun and then I wake up. I used to wake up alone. Now with my husband. And his morning hair. No choreographed pop-lock dancing.

Anywho, what was my point?

Oh yea.

So I am dieting, blah, blah, we know.

I have dreamt twice about accidentally eating things I am not suppose to on my diet and I get SO mad because I totally f-ed it up for nothing. I have been eating yams and apples and adzuki beans until they come out my ears and I go and accidentally eat a pizza...or lasagna with turkey....I know weird...and that sounds so f-ing good btw....and I am so mad.

The other night, JT was my buddy and we were chatting over coffee and I was so lovestruck I drank the damn coffee. It was raining. In case you were wondering. And then I was mad but didn't want to tell him because then I would have to explain what I am dieting for and it just wasn't worth it.

So I wake up a bit angry. a) because it takes me a second to realize I didn't break my diet beyond repair. b) JT is gone and so is my latte.

Monday, January 10, 2011


I forgot to tell everyone what I gave away to some family members on Christmas...

One night, T and I were watching No Impact Man and although the documentary as not at all as good as the book, it made me evaluate my own environmental practices. Right, like I don't already do that? I know, I know. *hippy alert* It is just inspiring every time.

Anywho, I started thinking about plastic lunch baggies and how we use those everyday. I can't even imagine how many of those there are in landfills. In order to make me feel better about that though, I make T bring his used baggies home everyday so I can wash them for re-use. I mean, we have saved a lot from just being thrown away. However, I started thinking about it and I know those things probably break down over time so that we are getting nice little bits of plastic in our bodies. So, I was wondering what I could do to use cloth.

Then it hit me, I'll just make some. So, that same night at like 9:30pm, I took some old oil cloth and an old curtain and sewed them together with some velcro to make myself a sandwich baggie. It works great.

I used an old broken laundry basket for the oil cloth and reused the velcro too!

I have made about 25 now and it is super easy and it is a good way to use up old cloth. The only thing that I really need to buy is oil cloth (not vinyl) and velcro.

When I am ready to wash them (and I do use them for more then one day at a time) I simply turn them inside out and wash with dish soap. Then I hang them to dry on my little baggie dryer.

My first finished bag. The newer ones were much better.

T hasn't used any though. I am not sure what he is scared of. Maybe boys will make fun of him at work, I don't know.

Here is where I got my pattern if I have inspired you. I plan on making more so I have enough to use for multiple things!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Going Green

This is the first time in my life the word green makes me want to vomit.

As previously noted, I am doing the elimination diet. I started on Wednesday (yesterday) and spent the day drinking water and green smoothies. By the time I got home from work, I was tired and my stomach felt blegh. It doesn't hurt, it just is wondering what the hell is going on. It is used to breaking down chips and pizza and tofu. It didn't have a job to do and it was pissed.

Today, unfortunately, I am forced to drink water and green smoothies again. This morning, I took a drink of my smoothie, homemade, and gagged. The thought of drinking that again was incredibly unpleasant. Granted, I don't have a Vitamix so "drinking" a smoothing really consists of sipping/chewing kale. It's awful!

I cannot wait until tomorrow morning when I can eat real food. Real as in yams, lentils, cilantro, avocado, the list goes on...luckily. I am going to eat a breakfast of rice, lentils, and avocado sauce. It sounds so f-ing good!

Monday, January 3, 2011


Yes, as I have stated above, I am going on a diet.

Everyone's New Year Resolution always includes dieting so I guess I am jumping on the bandwagon.

Although, I am not.

Yes, I am really going on a diet but I am going on an elimination diet to see if I am sensitive to certain foods. I was having horrible stomach pains about a month ago. No, I am/was not pregnant, let me just get that out of the way.

Although the pain is gone, something was causing it and I am going to see if it was a food thing. Spending 4 - 6 hours in bed trying to sleep away the pain is not something I want to experience again.

I have decided to start this diet now though because I wanted to get past the holidays. I was willing to sacrifice being sick in order to eat 6 cookies a day and family potatoes until I burst. I also needed coffee during the cold mornings and red wine to ring in the New Year. Alas, I didn't get sick which could mean it wasn't a food thing but I think my body could use a little cleansing anyway so this elimination diet can't hurt.

Here is what I have in store though:
Day 1 - 2: green smoothies only. ONLY! lord.
Day 3 - 9: allergen free food (brown rice, yams, lentils), can't be too bad.
Day 10 - 28: haven't gotten that far
Day 29: Almost my birthday! Time to stretch the stomach back out for cake, cupcakes, ice cream, etc.

This whole plan shouldn't be too bad. I eat pretty well during the majority of the year. But, if I don't blog for another week or so, you may want send a search party. The green smoothies may have killed me.