Friday, October 8, 2010

My Love for Men

I have somewhat of a problem and I have had it for years. Actually, I can tell you the exact moment I started to have this problem. Unfortunately, I don't remember what the year was but it had to be around 1995 (or whenever Home Improvement was popular).

My family was camping with the John H's (my uncle and his family) and I had a dream one night. The next morning my heart hurt. It wasn't an actual physical pain, it was more of a Tiger Beat thing. I don't even think I looked at Tiger Beat before this incident but I can sure tell you I bought them all in 1995/96 and again in 1999/2000. I had a dream.

I dreamt about JTT, you know, Johnathon Taylor Thomas. The 4 foot midget son from Home Improvement. In my dream he was so kind and had everything in common with me. We made a great pair.

I had the same dream about Nick Carter and Justin Timberlake later in life. (Well, I won't lie, Justin still visits me in my dreams.)

Sometimes famous people just bring the dork/nerd out in me. They make me act like a fool. If you don't believe me, read the letters I sent to JTT (which he did send a card back, thank you!), look at the pictures (or rather not) of my Nsync phase.

Recently though I have developed another "nerd" habit besides falling in love with pop icons. I look at the weather, a lot, and try to predict the weather of the day myself. My idol in my quest for a new career is Cliff Mass. He is the weather god of the Pacific Northwest. So, when I read that he was coming to Bellingham to give a lecture, I was beside myself. I was ready to go to the lecture by myself. I didn't think T would want to go (plus, what if I really ended up liking Cliff, I hadn't seen him before or anything).

So, on Saturday night, our "date night" included a captivating lecture by Cliff at the local community college. I armed myself with my Dad's copy of the dude's book and was ready to learn. Dr. Mass is a pretty funny guy and had some interesting things to say about our weather up here in Bellingham. I learned a lot that I believe is actually quite relevant to our farm. However, he is a pretty normal Jewish (that isn't a bad thing, just an accurate observation) looking 45ish year old so T didn't have to worry about me leaving with the Dr (now that I am married, it is all about looks).

I still managed to embarrass myself that night though. Not only was I the 2nd in line to have him sign my book (right after a group of 3 kids), I decided to say something to Cliff. Jesus, what is wrong with me? I said something to the affect of, "I am so glad you came to Bellingham. You seems so excited in weather when you talk. It is inspiring." It was weird. What the hell am I inspired about? You can't be inspired about weather.

So I don't know, maybe Cliff knew I was starstruck. He IS on KUOW and has his own blog but the whole thing was embarrassing. Not to mention, my husband was standing right there listening to me talk, make no sense, and have a horrible nervous laugh.

Oh well. I really should start thinking about what I want to say to JT when I see him though.

Cliffy Poo


The Momma said...

I can't believe you didn't push those kids aside to be first in line. If it had been a buffet table those children would be on lying on the ground crying.
Come on, you didn't say what Cliff said back. I bet it was something like, "you too have inspired me (another vague reference as to what). When I saw you in the audience I was charged with a lightening storm of emotion. I want to sweep you away in a tornado of love caused by an atmospheric inversion and leave that drizzle of a husband behind in a low pressure zone".

Sierra said...

Bahaha, you crack me up! You're such a great story-teller, I feel like I was there cringing with you.
@ Momma, I like your ending to the story! :)

TheAnut said...

Note to self if Em's name is drawn for Christmas gift exchange:
-- Rain Gauge: Empty Cat food can
-- Humidity & Wind (Direction & Velocity): Recycled paper stapled to long pole
-- Sun strength: Empty cat food can set on colored construction paper
-- Lightning: L-O-N-G metal rod to be placed in open field
-- Tornado: Misc. Recyclable items of varying size/weight to be placed in pile/mound for scatter determination (It is inhumane to use pigeons and/or other live animals for this determination)
-- Snow: Erasable Markers for use on inside windows to measure snow depth if door can't be opened
-- Atmospheric Pressure: Mood ring
-- Pretty Umbrella and Rain Boots