My loving father made rootbeer for my wedding. I requested it. He came through with some great rootbeer that everyone loved. (I don't remember what batch people preferred though, was it B5 or R6?)
After the wedding, I guess some leftovers remained. When visiting my parents one weekend recently in Puyallup, my sweet father gave us some more rootbeer to take back home. I looked forward to the rootbeer floats.
Something my father forgot to remind us though (which honestly, I suppose I should have remembered) was that his rootbeer is deadly. Seriously, it could injured someone. It isn't that it is poisonous. It isn't that it grows mold. It is that it explodes. It explodes with force.
I really wish I had a camera set up at home so I could have caught this on video (and then sent it to America's Funniest Home Videos because Buk probably shit the bed), poor Buky.
So, we bring our tasty rootbeer home from good ole Puyallup and set it on the kitchen table. It is a warm September week so the house reaches 68 degrees during the daytime.
I guess that is too hot for the rootbeer.
Who knows when the rootbeer decided to go for Buk but sometime during the day, it exploded ALL OVER THE PLACE! T calls me when he gets home and says, "uh, the rootbeer exploded and it ruined everything on the table (which is a lot, you know that is where I store all my crap!). Also, there is glass all the way into the living room." Sweet jesus! I ask if Buk is bleeding, but T reports he seems okay, just a little shaken up about having to stay on his bed all day to avoid the horrible table monster.
So everyone is okay but we could have had some major bleeding if Buk wasn't so smart to stay put.
To punish the rootbeer, I then drank a rootbeer float.
There is a moral to this story....if you plan on making homemade rootbeer, just know it explodes and have fun picking up glass shards. This isn't the first time my father's rootbeer exploded.