Monday, October 4, 2010

Beer De Root

My loving father made rootbeer for my wedding. I requested it. He came through with some great rootbeer that everyone loved. (I don't remember what batch people preferred though, was it B5 or R6?)

After the wedding, I guess some leftovers remained. When visiting my parents one weekend recently in Puyallup, my sweet father gave us some more rootbeer to take back home. I looked forward to the rootbeer floats.

Something my father forgot to remind us though (which honestly, I suppose I should have remembered) was that his rootbeer is deadly. Seriously, it could injured someone. It isn't that it is poisonous. It isn't that it grows mold. It is that it explodes. It explodes with force.

I really wish I had a camera set up at home so I could have caught this on video (and then sent it to America's Funniest Home Videos because Buk probably shit the bed), poor Buky.

So, we bring our tasty rootbeer home from good ole Puyallup and set it on the kitchen table. It is a warm September week so the house reaches 68 degrees during the daytime.

I guess that is too hot for the rootbeer.

Who knows when the rootbeer decided to go for Buk but sometime during the day, it exploded ALL OVER THE PLACE! T calls me when he gets home and says, "uh, the rootbeer exploded and it ruined everything on the table (which is a lot, you know that is where I store all my crap!). Also, there is glass all the way into the living room." Sweet jesus! I ask if Buk is bleeding, but T reports he seems okay, just a little shaken up about having to stay on his bed all day to avoid the horrible table monster.

So everyone is okay but we could have had some major bleeding if Buk wasn't so smart to stay put.

To punish the rootbeer, I then drank a rootbeer float.

There is a moral to this story....if you plan on making homemade rootbeer, just know it explodes and have fun picking up glass shards. This isn't the first time my father's rootbeer exploded.


The Momma said...

Haha, I bet Buky was sleeping on the couch and thought the wrath of God was upon him and ran to his own little bed. Poor boy. It is a scary thing. We put the bottles in the bathtub when it was 'brewing' this summer and the explosions would scare me even in another room. Glad you could wring enough out of the mop to make a float! I promise to clean the ceiling next time I visit.

TheAnut said...

I, too, am HaHaHa-ing, as well as sympathizing, as my dining room table also serves as my filing cabinet. I know what a good soaking would do to my 'organized' mounds of paperwork.

If you only had those 'I'm not ready yet' children, you'd have quite the makings for school Science Fair projects for MANY years to come, i.e.
#1 - Explosive potential based on 3 hour ride in a shaking car coupled with heat gradient of place of storage
#2 - Explosion aftermath of bottles stored in open box, closed box, no box
#3 - Explosive potential of one batch over another (what ARE your sweet father's secret, mad rootbeer scientist, ingredients anyway?)

I guess perhaps poor Bukmeister has some insight to offer on that age old question "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

PS - Are we drawing names for Xmas? Based on your post, I think we need to add some safety parameters to the 'giving' rules !

Sierra said...

I'm not really a rootbeer person, but I had some at the wedding and it was SO GOOD! Now I'm scared, though, if I ever get offered some again. :) Glad Buk made it through the ordeal!