Thursday, January 20, 2011

Calling Bullshit

I'm gonna go ahead and call bullshit on something.

Actually, why don't we just go ahead and make a list and make that somethings:

5. Navy blue dresses exist. I can't find a single one that doesn't look like a) a hooker dress or b) a mu-mu and I need one for my sister's wedding.

4. Being a pregnant is worth it. I'll believe it when it happens but for now I would like to point out that I like coming home, making dinner, and watching adult situation TV shows. I also like not feeling fat.

3. 13 yr old girls at the gym with their fathers. Yes, I am gonna go ahead and say that is BS. Maybe the girls want to be at the gym doing what their father says, maybe they will be Olympians but chances are, they won't be and they will only begin to think their father is mean. Then they will rebel. They will eat twinkies and drink Dr Pepper all day long at school. I promise, they don't actually like going to the gym. Teenagers don't like exercising, I would know. The only time I went on runs with my father was when I got an egg mcmuffin afterward. Fathers, don't worry about your daughter and her playing college basketball. If she wants to, she will. And, don't take her to the gym to do crunches on the exercise ball when she can't even balance on the damn thing.

2. Anyways is a word. It isn't. I would know, I used to use it and then I lost a $3 bet to my mom when she made me look it up in the dictionary. (She also taught me gambling was okay.)

1. Drinking water makes you full. They (I am guessing dumb doctors) say drinking more water makes you full which in turn will make you not eat as much. Yeah fucking right. I still want cookies, chips, and seconds after I drink 64 oz of water.

Happy National BS Day! (not really, that is total bullshit)


Gevan said...

YEAH on calling bullshit for "anyways". My personal most hated pseudo-word.

The Momma said...

My oh my, you must have put on your cranky pants this morning and then pooped in them. Get it... pooped-bullshit?
I'm willing to BET everyone who deals with you on a daily basis wishes you'd start eating crap food again (and I taught you to only bet when you know you will win).

Dejoni said...

Anyways...I say BS too!! lol Love it!

Farmer's Veggie Wife said...

Holy ish, is that really Southern Fried Momma commenting on MY blog?! It isn't just my father in law saying something or my mother rambling on? Wow, I'm feeling pretty special to get some non-family reading my "funnies". Thanks Dejoni for thinking I am worthy of a good comment. :)

*Nerd Moment Over*