Saturday, October 6, 2012
1. When you hear the word "deer" or "dear", you think of "deere". As in John. But then you always think of how crappy John really is, or at least that "Kubota" or "Farmall" are really better. Because, that is what your husband says.
2. You want a vacation so you don't have to weed for a week.
3. You find yourself whistling "Field of Opportunity" while watering the flowers.
4. You LOVE summer but by Septemeber 15, you just want it to snow. Or, at least be Thanksgiving and then snow the next weekend.
5. You keep any stray animal that wonders into your yard, whether it be a cat or a rooster. But you are really hoping a goat will wonder in.
6. You know the difference between fermented and pickled food and your pantry smells like farts because of all the fermenting veggies. (This also makes you a hippy.)
7. You don't have any TV stations because a) you wouldn't have time to watch them and b) you can't afford it because you own 2 tractors, a riding lawn mower, a rototiller, and a "farm" truck that is about to die.
8. Your husband owns a banjo he doesn't know how to play. And a mandolin.
9. Going into town and back is an hours worth of driving.
10. You own carharrt pants, shorts, capris, shoes, jackets, sweatshirts, t-shirts, underwear, gloves, socks, hats, high heels and so on and so forth. But really, you aren't proud of that because rednecks have really started to make carharrts a fashion thing and that obsession with the confederate flag is really ruining the brand.