Samsonite Sokomoto Jr Herold Marrs. Stanley Bilbobaggins Herold Marrs. Bukowski Dew Drops in the Morning Marrs Herold. Simon Otis Spuford Herold Marrs.
With a little Gus Toford Herold on the side.
Those are all my children. Those are their legal names. I love them.
Man I can't wait to have real people children! I'll really get to use my creative side then!
Actually, while we are on the topic and I am sure people are going to start asking what our plan is on having "real people children" (which is what I plan on calling them when they are alive), I wanted to let you know that I need at least two more summers childless. Here are my reasons:
1) Today Sam was outside while the neighbor was tethering (farm word) our pasture. I was sure Sam was dead under the blades. I worry too much.
2) T has to clean up all the barf.
3) I need to go camping.
4) I need to go to Hawaii while the flights are hella cheap from Bham to an island.
5) I need to save money for....................the house I am buying in Hawaii. (F kids)
6) I don't love Simon as much as my other children yet. I apologize in advance 2nd born child. (Although I know I will love him just the same soon, he just needs to get his shit together)
7) Buk, shut the fuck up.
8) I need time to swear. I am not ready to give that up.
So now that you know, just wait until you ask if I am ready to have children. Let me get my shit together first. You won't like my children if you don't wait. Hippy kids are okay but hippy kids who push and swear and spit and laugh at the unfortunate are not.