Thursday, August 5, 2010

Tan Lines

Summer began in Whatcom County around July 9th.

I began working outside 4+ hours a day around July 9th.

Combo those two together and I get tan. Tan like a kid at work asked if I came from Mexico, granted she said her dad was tan and he came from the Navy, but still, I get pretty dark.

However, for the summer of 2010 I was worried.

I have to wear a strapless wedding dress. I can't wear a strapless at work. Prepping baseball fields and selling pop to children would not go well in a strapless. So instead, I wore spaghetti straps and short shorts. Yes, I still looked like a floozy but at least my shirt stayed on.

I am worried about tan lines.

I can't have them. A white dress just doesn't work the tan lines. (only carhartts d0)

After all my efforts though not get tan lines, I still got them. I needed strapless. Damn.

Good thing they make fake tan lotion for me to put on my little strap lines. Although, that shit scares me. Who knows what nasty chemicals are in that.

The things I do to be beautiful (which is all the time).

1 comment:

The Momma said...

You look about 10 years old playing dress up at Disneyland. Oh, I guess that is a true statement except for your actual age. I didn't think you were going to wear a veil but that does have a certain charm.
Please practice walking down the 'aisle' keeping your feet straight instead of pigeon-toed. Is that why Ty is attracted to you...PIGEON-toed...get it?!

What do you mean by your last sentence? That you constantly have to do things to be beautiful - come on, you are a naturally beautiful, low maintenance kinda girl. Or did you mean you are beautiful all the time which is true but sounds a bit conceited. Or, that while we all think you are naturally beautiful you actually are only lovely because of nasty chemicals.

Here are possible solutions for your 'don't want to get cancer covering up my tan lines' dilemma:
"Organic tanners are made without chemical ingredients and can be just as effective as their less-organic counterparts. Don't believe it? You can even make a sunless self tanning lotion that really works using ingredients in your refrigerator and your cupboard".
Follow the steps below to make your own tanning lotion.
Step 1: Boil 3/4 cup of filtered water.
Step 2: Brew 3 black tea bags in the boiled water.
Step 3: Blend 1/4 cup of your tea with 1/4 cup of lanolin and sesame oil at low speed. Add the rest of the tea and continue to blend.
Prep your skin like you would before applying any self tanning lotion. Find a hidden test spot and try some of your concoction before you start spreading it around. Wait 30 minutes for color to start developing.
or go to

You need to add a picture of Simon to the family photos.