Monday, April 22, 2013

Shit List

I have never said this in my life but my animals are all on my shit list. This week I didn't even care when Stanley was left outside at night because he refused to come home after his curfew.

I think the animal babies are getting a taste of the my post-baby medicine (aka mean, cranky momma). I feel bad but if they can't pull their shit together Mommy is going to have some major issues with them.

Buk: This week lovely Buk didn't really get to go to the dog park because I had a busy week and it was pretty rainy most mornings. Buk decided to take it out on me by chewing up my slipper and then some other random things he found. The day he chewed up my slipper I played ball with him for 15 minutes and then took him for a 20 minutes walk. So much for trying to give him exercise. He was very ungrateful. Damn bastard.

Stanley: Now, I feel badly about Stan's situation. This is gross but Stanley has tape worms right now because he probably killed something with them. However, Stanley has been untreated because the pet store was out of medicine. I ordered some online but it hasn't arrived yet. Therefore, Stanley isn't allowed in the bedroom and snuggling isn't quite as sweet. But still, he should have eaten a damn mouse with tape worm.

Simon: Oh Simon, you are so cute but goddamnit, stop fucking pissing around the house. As of this report, Simon peed somewhere in the living room and I haven't discovered the location yet. I put him outside every single day but sometimes when it is rainy he just sleeps all day in the cat house and then when it is time to come inside, it is time for him to get out all his energy. He and Stanley chase each other around and get all excited. And, for some reason, this is when Simon likes to show how awesome he is by pissing on something. He is really getting on my damn nerves.

I love my babies. I really do. But they need to pull it together. Otherwise, their lives are going to be pretty miserable soon because I will have no patience for their faults! I can't believe I am saying that.

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