Friday, September 3, 2010


I am a sister, wife, daughter, animal momma, co-worker, coach, chef, caretaker, healthy eater (let's add good eater while we are at it), rule enforcer, weeder, sleeper, candlestickmaker, vegetarian, reader, relaxer, runner, and hippy (the love-the-Earth kind).

Notice, a lot of those things don't require exercise. I only run because I eat too much.

I have always been a little lazy. I played fastpitch in high school because it didn't require much running. Volleyball, you had to run a mile. No thanks. Basketball, you had to run an ungodly amount of lines. Call me when you just have to practice dribbling. Soccer, hah, do I really need to go on?
In my adult days, I figured I better knock that shit off if I wanted to feel different. So I did. I forced myself and I am glad every year that I do what I do. However, other people may not be.

I may do a lot of things that seem extreme: marathons (half extreme), triathlons, Ragnar, etc. But let me point out that I do those things and train just to finish. I have never learned desired to push myself to the extreme level. That all started with gymnastics when I was little. I didn't want to compete. I don't know why, I just don't have the balls. I know, naturally, huh? But seriously.

Something that comes along with having no balls is that I am a complainer...go ahead and add that to the list.

Here is my situation:

I am on my honeymoon in Kauai. Having a great time but get sick (food poisoning) and didn't get to enjoy the outdoors like I wanted to. Haven't eaten for two days. Actually, not true, I did eat a can of veggie soup, two bites of rice, and some saltines.
We have this 11 mile hike planned that is a 5,000ft elevation gain. If you don't know how hard that is, go ahead and look it up, it's a fucking shit ton of elevation gain! The clencher is that we have this planned the morning I still haven't eaten anything AND we were planning on hiking in, staying on the gorgeous Hawaiian beach for one night, and then hiking out first thing in the morning.
But, I am sick so we say we will go 6.5 miles to the first campground. It will be fine.

So, I go, I am chugging along fine. The hills are killer but I've played in ultimate tournaments that feel the same on the muscles. We get to 6.5 miles and we are in the tropical trees at a river. Frankly, it looks a little like Mt Rainier in WA. god damnit! I am disappointed. We sit and I say these words, "Let's just go to the end, it's only 5 miles more."

That is when T should have slapped me but he really wanted to go to the end too....and...although he has known me for 12 years, he doesn't know the extent of my complaining. Never had the chance before, I guess.

Onward we go.

Not so bad.

Mile 8 and 9 are kinda fun, the trail is barely there and on cliff sides so if you trip, you are pretty much rolling down the hill.

Mile 10. I am hurting. My leg is sore and I lose it a little. I don't know how I am going to hike out of here the next day. I am really worried. Also, mile 10 is all downhill. Like not nice down hill, like roots and clay and knee killing pain.

But we get to the beach after a mile of shitay. It is beautiful and the sunset is amazing over the water. Boats drive by with people who paid money to ride the water. Helicopters fly over with people who made hella money ($300/person) to see the sights from above. You feel proud that you hiked all that way and have the best view of them all. You get to actually enjoy the scenery. Not fly/drive passed in a flash.

Day 2 rolls around. I AM THE SOREST I HAVE BEEN IN MY LIFE. My back hurts, my legs hurt, my butt hurts, my arms hurts, and (sorry) I haven't pooped in like 2 days because I haven't eaten anything. At least my calves are in good shape and I don't have a headache.

Onward, back, we go.

Here is something else you can add to my list....I am a horse back to the barn kind of girl.

The hike back of so fucking hard but I know there is a car, beach, milkshake, and fries all waiting for me when I finish. It is a LONG 7 hours hike and I bitch and moan up every hill and try to keep a good pace. Who the fuck cares that T may have pushed me a little during those last 4 miles? I don't! He even pushed after I told him I hated him. But maybe he was trying to push me off the cliff not up the

if you think I am smiling, you are sadly mistaken

Anywho, I made it. 2 days later and I am still sore. But I am so glad I did it and have the pictures to prove it. I told T I would never do it again but chances are he will want to go again and I will have to do it with him. Wifely duties. In the end though, I am so glad I did it, it was truly amazing!! Now, if only I had a T-shirt to prove it too. I always get those for my accomplishments.


The MOB said...

Nice! Way to power through! At least you got a sweet story out of it. I am impressed.

Gevan said...

Oh dear (new) daughter Emmy - your blog is the best. The photo of you smiling (NOT!) is classic. I'm proud of your perserverance though. Is that last photo one you guys saw? That's no Mt. Rainier, I assure you. Very cool.

The Momma said...

Can't stop laughing...I should make an album of all the pictures we have of you with that exact same face. Thank you sweet Jesus that the girl found a man who will put up with her. He does still want to put up with you, right?!
If you think you hated him for taking you on a hike, I hope you never post what you say to him when you're giving birth.
“Back to the barn” – you might have started off at a gallop but the horses I’ve known haven’t had to be pushed part of the way. I’m thinkin’ you’re right about the cliff part…..manys the time.
Hope you’re feeling much better. Hey, now that you’ve conquered the rigorous hike it’s time to put on your mask for snorkeling.

TheAnut said...

Thanks for sharing your adventure. A bit different than what I'd envisioned ...

2 newlyweds, deeply in love, holding hands with 1 hand, hiking sticks in the other, guitar strapped across T's back, Em's tone flute in her pack, merrily singing the Happy Wanderer together as they climb. Val-deri,Val-dera,Val-deri, Val-dera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

Reality seems to have been a bit less idyllic. I'm glad you're on the mend and that, in the end, you wouldn't change a thing!

Farmers Veggie Wife said...

Gevan - Ty did take that last picture. It is a pano he stitched together.